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[invocation]

[The melodious sound of chewing can be heard.]

"Leave a message, if you want.

If it's something stupid, don't waste my time with it."

Beep. _

text | voice | video

image edited by squeaks.

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[fortissimos]

Of course. Everyone's safe when it's like this, right?

[ But safe is relative, when the world around you can come crumbling down at any moment. She shrugs, realizing the conversation has turned a little dark, but unwilling to change it. ]

I don't want anything to happen to these people, but I don't wanna just sit around, either. We're not here for that. [ They're not here to be useless. ] The sooner we help everyone here, the sooner we can go back.

[invocation]

[Kyouko's shoulders hunch. She picks up her pace a little, and adjust her expression into something a little less deeply troubled and a little more annoyed.

She waves a hand.] You worry too much about that stuff. If thing's are peaceful, it might mean everything's getting better for these people. The Initiative doesn't even know what they're doing. You really trust them not to screw things up worse? Waiting might be better.

[fortissimos]

You don't have to listen, you know. I'm not asking for your help. [ She looks away, apparently tired of arguing about the idea. ] I just don't like waiting.

[ Not when there's so much left to do — she has to help the people here, finish this new war so she can get back home to the one she left behind. Just letting things happen might be easier, but it's also selfish to sit back to wait while she could be doing something. ]

[invocation]

[Kyouko senses that this is a conversation in which she will have to be careful. So her tone softens in subtle ways, and she decides to do something she had not bothered to do before: instead of lecturing, she asks questions.]

Why d'you think you're useless if you're not fighting anything, anyway? You always act like that.

[fortissimos]

[ Kyouko asking questions might be new, but this one has a simple enough answer. Sayaka laughs dully; considers leaving it at that — why did this even need an explanation? — before continuing a moment later. ]

Because it's true, isn't it? We're not good for anything else.

[ Witches, monsters... they're all the same. Put anything that's a threat in front of her, and she'll tear it down. ]

[invocation]

[Sayaka is wrong.

She doesn't know how to convey it, exactly, or what to say right this instant, but she's wrong. What a miserable existence she's laying out for them...that's the reality of it, of course, but it was only one small part of a greater thing. She knew that, on some level...but how to say it?

It's a sad way to think, a pitiful way. The ring on Kyouko's hand glows, and her Soul Gem forms. It's bright, as always. Untarnished by grief, or despair.]

If you think that way, you're not gonna survive.

[It's said quietly, and reluctantly. Caring about other people didn't mean you had to abandon yourself.]

[fortissimos]

That's okay. [ Or so she's convinced herself. Her own Soul Gem forms, and she gives it a strange, detached kind of look. ] The world doesn't need a magical girl who can't even do her job.

[ They're already dead, after all. Living on borrowed time. The only way she can justify her existence is if it's being used to prolong that of others. ]

[invocation]

[Kyouko dimly wonders if this is what it feels like to watch someone die. Sayaka's alive, in the physical sense, or animated, anyway, kept breathing and moving by the Soul Gem, but with the way she's talking...she might as well be dead.

What was the point of even living, if that was the way you thought? Burning yourself out for other people who didn't even care about you, wouldn't give a damn if you lived or died, didn't even bother to remember your name. She has an odd feeling of weightlessness, of the ground sweeping out from under her feet. It makes her feel helpless, and she hates that feeling most of all. How was she supposed to fix this, she wonders...to keep the same things from repeating themselves, over and over again? It's like staring at someone bleeding out and not being able to stop the blood flow. Just holding their hand, making them comfortable before they got cold and the light faded from their eyes.

Hidden from Sayaka's view, Kyouko's mouth twists in pain. She wasn't going to cry, hadn't cried in years. But it's hard to listen to this and pretend everything was normal, that this was the right way to think.]

...

I changed my mind. [She sounds tired.] I'm gonna go find the kid. She's probably got free food anyway. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone.

[fortissimos]

[ A few months ago, Kyouko going near Madoka would have been cause for a fight. But Sayaka trusts her with this much now (which is a feat, in all honesty), and so she just shrugs; the movement jerky and unnatural.

Dimly, she's aware of the problem. That what she's doing is unhealthy, and far beyond what most people would be prepared to do. But Mami had done it — Mami had given her life for the cause, had died without ever once putting herself first, and if someone so perfect had to suffer...

A person like her has no right to complain. ]

Yeah.

[ No elaboration, no real promise. The ring on her finger reforms, and she walks away without looking back. ]